Friday, December 16, 2011
I spoke out and it should matter.
Well as some of you know here and on twitter i was thinking about telling my mo about my abuse from my stepfather. I was going to tell her because 1) i felt i needed to tell her. I felt it was a weight on my shoulders and 2) i felt like i owe it to my followers who look up to me and ask me for help on speaking out. I do not want to look like a hypocrite for telling others to seek justice if I havent done so myself. You have to understand how hard it is for me to speak to my mom about my abuse. I do plan on telling her but not the way i was thinking on doing it. I cant just spring it her. She has a bad heart. She cant be going through any stress because she can have a heart attack. So i was weighing my options to see which is the best way to tell her if i did decide i will go through it. The choice i came up with is this, my mom would sometimes ask me if my stepfather has ever gotten fresh with me or touched me and i would tell her no because i was afraid of telling her the truth. So i decided that if she did ask me again, i will try and have enough courage to tell her the truth. But until then i cant tell her. I cant risk hurting her. I would bare having that blame on me.. So i will wait until the right time to speak to her but for now I SPOKE OUT ONLINE AND THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH. AS LONG AS WE HAVE SPOKEN OUT ABOUT OUR ABUSE, IT SHOULD MATTER THE FORM WE DO IT. WE ARE STILL SPREADING THE WORD OUT THAT WE WERE ABUSED. OUR ABUSERS HAVE NO SAY ANYMORE. THEY CANT HARM US. THEY CANT TOUCH US. NO LONGER ARE WE SILENT. THE MINUTE WE CHOSE TO SPEAK OUT IS THE MINUTE WE DECIDED TO END THE SILENCE. TOGETHER WE ARE BREAKING THE SILENCE. NO MORE VICTIMS. NO MORE SILENCE.