Hey everyone. Hope everyone has enjoyed their Easter this past weekend. Well today's post is going to be able my mother. Not so much but the thing I want to discuss is that I know I have wrote previously that my mother doesn't know about my stepfather abusing me but she knows that I was abused by my uncle. Well I really didn't lie about it but she does know but like I said she is in denial. The thing is that when my sister first came out and told our mother that she was abused by our stepfather, she and my sister also asked me if I was abused. I did try to tell her and when I tried to tell her and talk my mother just shut me up. After that I never really tried to tell her because I knew she would not believe me. SO I did tell her but she was not wanting to listen and that in a way still hurts because she is the one person that is suppose to be there and believe you no matter what. But I have come to realize that she is never going to accept it and I have to just move on. But one thing that I have to say is that I am very proud of myself. I am not ashamed to be a survivor. I am not ashamed to keep using my voice to speak out. I am ok with who ever wants to see this and read this and be blessed. I know God is helping me through my healing journey. I know I am healing. I feel free. I am no longer a victim BUT a survivor.
There are a few reasons why I am writing this post but one of the reasons why is because even though that one person does not want to believe you, there are many others who will believe you and help you get the help you need to begin your healing journey. You can even begin the way I did and start a blog and share your story. Since I began to speak out last year I know I have gained my strength back and my voice. You can gain your voice back too if you just share your story with others rather its online or just going to someone you trust and tell them. Someone will believe you.
I BELIEVE YOU. I WILL ALWAYS BELIEVE. I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO NOT HAVE THAT PERSON BY YOUR SIDE. YOU WILL MAKE IT THROUGH. I CAN GUARANTEE THAT. SEEK OUT ORGANIZATIONS LIKE RAINN AND THE JOYFUL HEART FOUNDATION FOUNDED BY MARISKA HARGITAY WHO IS MY INSPIRATION AND A ROLE MODEL TO MANY SURVIVORS. THERE ARE OTHER ORGANIZATIONS AS WELL. STAY BLESSED AND BE BLESSED. GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
Maybe its shock, maybe and I know through experience that to abuse a child you have to first get past the mother, mothers are groomed too, sometimes whole families. It is all very complicated to explain here. But even as a society long before you and I were born grooming took place. Abusers are very clever and manipulative and can plant the seed of doubt about a child well before abuse takes place. Or maybe for your mum its just shock. after 4 years I am still in shock. My children were abused, I know it I accept it but that it actually happened under my nose, I don't think I can get over that shock. I see you growing in strength Tara, I am mother and I believe you too. Take care M4J :)
ReplyDeleteThank you i appreciate you believing me. It means alot. I know abusers are manipulative. I just hate that when i tried to tell her years ago she just shut me up. And then made me apologize to him for saying what i said. I should have never said anything. Sometimes i still feel like what happened to me isnt such a big deal but i know it is. Its still hard but thank you for your support. It means alot. God bless you and your family and i hope your children are ok.
ReplyDeleteBravo tara! i am ur biggest fan,too many words i want to say, i felt like hugging you and reasuring you that it would be ok, i hear and feel what you left unsaid, and trust me i do know what you feel. I admire your courage and strenght! God continue to strengthen you and use u.
ReplyDeleteAlways remember you can never hold hold a candle up for others and remain in darkness.
Stay Blessed!
Thank you for your kind words. In appreciate it. Im ok now. I have been praying and I leave everything in God's hand. I know my mom will be in denial for a long time. I know what happened to me. I wouldn't lie about abuse. I pray that God will open her eyes one day and she will see that truth. It will happen. Thank you for everything. :) God bless.
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