Monday, June 13, 2011
even though i have been talking to others, those who reached out to me in need, i tell them they should try and seek help and tell the police what happen but when it comes to myself i cant seem to seek justice for my abuse. the things its been over ten years since i was molested. when it first happen i was afraid to say anything. he then started bribing me to keep silent and it worked. i was around the age of 12 or so maybe younger when my stepdad molested me which also felt like i was being raped just with clothes on. it was horrible. its hard to try and do something about it because of the fact that no one believes hes capable of such a thing like that. even my mother is in denial and still with him. even though i was still living at home until recently that i decided to move in with my sister in new jersey i know i will be more at peace and at ease. i will no longer have the fear of him trying to sneak in my room in the middle of the night. i will no longer have to hide myself and the way i dress because hes around and he looks at me like he wants to do more. i no longer have to hurt myself to help stop the pain and memories of my abuse. i am at peace now. to me that is my justice!! i may not have gone to the police and reported it but i did take a big step and finally moved out. i honestly dont know myself how i managed to live with my abuser and my mom who is in denial and chose her husband over us. i love her and everything but its wrong. but like i said ive moved out and that is my justice.