Watching the show law and order svu i learned that alot of victims of sexual assault who dont come out and speak turn to drug and alcohol abuse to ease the pain and forget the memories of what happened. Even though i just started speaking out i never turned to those things. I did start smoking cigarettes and i started to get involved with guys. When i was with them i would become so attach right away and try everything in my power for them not to leave me. But i still ended up hurt by them. I honestly didnt know that had anything to do with what happened to me until i started speaking out. Its hard. You try to fill that emptiness with love for that guy that you dont care who he is or who you get it from. But now i realize that i cant keep putting myself through that pain. I choose to speak out. Even though i havent confronted my abuser about what he did since my mom is still with him. But i try everyday to forget all the hurt i was put through. I am stronger everyday that i choose to speak out.