Monday, November 28, 2011

My abuser may be my father!!!

As you all know i was molested twice. By an uncle and my stepfather. Well I am going back and telling you another part of my story which will make you think the same question Is my stepfather (abuser) my real father?

I never knew this before. I had just found out recently by my sister. We started joking about it even thoug it was something we shouldnt joke about but in the end, it made me think if it could be true.
Here goes.......

Before i was born, my parents were always fighting and such. I dont remember much about my childhood other then some things that happened and such. When me and my sister were talking she told me that my mom had cheated on my father and missed around with the man who is my stepfather since the age of 2 or 3. I never knew that. Well anyway now that i think about and put all the facts together there could be a connection. The first thing is that my mother didnt know that she was pregnant with me. She didnt find out til she was like 3 or 4 months pregnant. The second thing is that i have a mark on my head on the side and my stepfather has that mark on the exact same spot as i do. I find that crazy and sick. I know there can be a possibility but i do not want to be true. I know i havent fully reacted in a way to tell him that it was wrong what he did nor did i make a scene. But if it ever turned out that he is my father i would die. The fact that he molested my sister and i its sickening. I dont know what i would do with my life. I hope and pray its not true. Im sorry if this offends anyone or causes triggers. I know it must be hard to have a parent who caused you this misery and had another parent who did nothing. I hate the fact that my mom knew he did something to my sister and didnt do anything about it. The thing is that my sister spoke out to her about it. I havent. My fear is that she will blame my sister for putting those thoughts in my head when its not her fault. He did molest me. It felt like he was going to rape me because he kept moving his body back and forth while he pinned me against the wall. I hope this doesnt happen to anyone else. I hope that through this blog who ever reads it will find courage and speak out. Lets end the silence together. No longer will we allow THEM to silence us. Lets speak out together. No more silence.. No more victims...

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