Friday, May 20, 2011
i cant speak out to my family.
I dont want to sound like im contradicting myself because i encourage others to speak out but when it comes to telling family i just cant. My family is so separated. Truth is that the first time i was molested my mom did believe me. Then changed her mind. So thats why i didnt tell her about the second time. I do speak out. I speak out here. I speak out to some of my close friends from church who been through what ive been through. I joined support groups online where i know im safe. Im speaking out but not to my family. And if you read my post on my family tree you'll see why its hard sometimes. Even though so much abuse runs through my family everyone is tired of hearing the same thing. Its like the story of the boy who cried wolf. You say it over and over and at first they believe but then when its not true or you back out they forget about it. But when its actually happening no one will stand by you. Does this make sense. I still encourage you to speak out. Even if its not to family find a friend you trust
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do not ever feel that you are contradicting yourself about speaking out because your family is not included. you owe them nothing, whether or not they are your abusers. you only owe yourself the courage to speak out to those you trust, those who know you wouldn't make this nightmare up. my mom and husband are the only ones in my family that know, and i'm comfortable with that. that doesn't mean i don't do everything i can publicly without disclosing to them. i'm a part of many online communities, a support group here in town and i have an individual counselor. these are my safe places, and these are the only places i feel i am safe to share my story. the point is to get to a place where you can find support and you can share your pain so you can heal. you touch lives wherever you are in the survivors' community, and your biological family doesn't have to be a part of that sacred family.
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